Men, it’s time for a wake-up call to you. Women are losing hope in ever finding that perfect guy for them because men today have no idea what it means to be a man in a relationship. Now, I consider myself a man of God—no, it doesn’t mean I am any better than you, rather it means that I recognized that I was a broken man and needed God to fix me spiritually. I am a work in progress that God is shaping for a purpose in this world. Now, I myself am not in a relationship, but God’s Word has much to say on the topic and it starts off with a very simple command that Paul gives in Ephesians:
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”
Love your wives, or if you’re not in that stage, your girlfriends. Doesn’t matter if it doesn’t work out because of a difference, just follow this command. Now, what does that love look like for that special girl in your life? Well, it’s contained in the above verse—love your wives and give yourselves up for her. This doesn’t necessarily mean just Christian men. This is a command for men everywhere if they wish for their marriages/relationships to be successful. And if you go and read this passage in Ephesians 5—DO NOT FOCUS ON WHAT PAUL IS SAYING TO WIVES. Paul wants you to focus on what you are to do as a husband.
Loving your wives/girlfriends means being willing to give up everything you want or need and fulfill her needs. Men, by nature, are wired to take charge and be dominant in everything. Sports, business, politics, etc. Not saying women can’t, but I’m just saying that for men it just comes naturally. Couple that with a propensity to be selfish, and you have a bad combination for a relationship of any level with a girl. If you wish to be that perfect man for the girl, and for Christian men that means being a living example of Christ, you must first be willing to do two things…
Be Willing to Die to YOURSELF
Everyone has their ideas of what they want in a relationship. But go into a relationship with only your ideas of what it should look like, and it will be doomed from the get-go. You must be willing to sacrifice or put on hold your wants, your desires, and your ideas. And replace them with the wants, desires, and ideas of the special girl whose heart you wish to have. Does this mean cater to her every whim? No, but if she calls you at 3:30 in the morning, for whatever reason—to just talk or needs someone to listen to and have that shoulder to cry on—you need to be willing to be those things for her. Jesus was willing to do it for you, he stepped down from heaven to fulfill the spiritual needs of the broken people of the world who were crying for a savior.
Most men want one thing. Ladies, if you’re reading this sorry to say it’s just how we’re wired. However, that does NOT mean men can get a free pass on having as many girls as he wants—their hearts are not meant to be toyed with like that. To do so is to be extremely and utterly selfish. If you wish to have a girl’s heart, you have to hold off things you want and serve her. Most men, when they’re at their wedding, do not realize the implications of the vows that the minister is reciting to them and that they swear to hold themselves to. Like this:
“I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.”
When you say this, you are not saying this to yourself—you are saying this to the woman you are looking at. You are saying that regardless of circumstances, you will be there for her. So, when you say “I do” you are saying “I die to myself and my wants to live for you.”
The second thing is…
Die FOR Her
This is pretty self-explanatory. But in reality, it is actually connected to dying to yourself. Christ says that there is no greater love than someone who is willing to die for a friend. Well, if you are looking at that girl as someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, she will be your BEST friend. This means you must be willing to, without any thought of yourself, lay down your life at any cost to save hers. As the book of 1 Peter says, the wife is the weaker vessel both physically and spiritually in comparison to the man in her life. Ladies, you may not like that statement I just made, but it’s just a scientific fact and the Bible supports the spiritual aspect in several spots. And ladies, you may not think you would want a man to die for you, but it’s not because of some macho thing—if they truly love you, they ought to be willing to do this without any regard for themselves. If the man doesn’t think you’re worth dying for, you may want to move on from him because he considers his life more important than yours.